WHEN IT IS HARD TO FORGIVE

As human beings, we have certain characteristics that we were created with and can never deny those things to which are part of us and given by GOD. We are also different and react to things separately. However, if we learn and listen to our inner spirit during quiet times when we are wronged, we will begin to have some understanding of what we have to do in order to take the following steps to forgive and forget:

The natural immediate reaction to being wronged is a combination of shock, anger, pain and grief. This is as it should be, for those immediate emotions give you the adrenaline boost necessary to do what needs to be done in the immediate aftermath. These are powerful emotions and may take time to subside.

Take as long as you need to work through these feelings. You cannot and should not forgive someone while you are still in shock and pain. The reaction need to settle in first. Use whatever resources that are available to you immediately, by walking out of the situation area into a different environment, having a quiet time, taking a cold shower, jumping and throwing your weight around reasonably, do not create a scene, or do anything that will inflame the tension, etc. etc. to help you in this process. Acknowledge and accept your emotions and work to resolve them. Only then will you be ready to forgive.

As Christians, the word of God cautions us to remember our GOD who holds the upper hand in the FORGIVENESS business.

(1). Matthew 6:12 “And FORGIVE us our sins, as we have FORGIVEN those who sin against us”
(2). Ephesians 43:2 “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, FORGIVING ONE ANOTHER, just as God through Christ has forgiven you”.
(3) Colossians 3:13: “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and Forgive Anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others”.
(4) Luke 17:4 “If he sins against you seven times in one day and says that he is sorry each time, FORGIVE HIM.”
(5) Matthew 5:44 “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”.
(6) Mark 11:25 “When you are praying, if you are angry with someone, forgive him so that your Father in heaven will also forgive your sins.”
(7) Romans 12:19 – 21 “My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: “I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them,” says the Lord. But you should do this, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. Doing this will be like pouring burning coals on his head. Do not let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good”.

Now the person who wronged you is a complicated person with a good side as well as a bad side. Seeing him or her as such makes it much easier to forgive the person. However, when the person committed the ACT, you were wronged, pain was inflicted on you, emotionally, physically and mentally. Something precious was taken away from you. Your livelihood was stolen, destroyed or trashed; yes less than being killed, you were maimed or a love one killed senselessly. YES, IT WAS A GRAVE ACT. Do not condone the wrong ACT, but condemn it

Choosing to forgive the person does not mean that you condone the act. It is necessary to remove yourself from a situation in which the other person committed a dangerous act. Only you know what acts you can and cannot live with. Forgiveness does not include allowing the person the opportunity to hurt you again.

Forgive and forget is generally an unrealistic ideal. After all, our memories are not selective. We remember all sorts of things, particularly those that caused strong emotional reactions in us. You will not forget what h